Let’s face it, being in love is great but who thought it would be so challenging! Nearly every couple that I work with never imagined in a million years that they would be having the kind of difficulties that brought them to counseling. They don’t know how they got off track and want desperately to find solutions to get back to where they used to be or at least better than where they are now. Although I cannot promise that you can get back to the way it was, I can try to help you to begin to respond to one another in newer ways that are less conflictual, more caring and supportive. When you get to the point where you are thinking that “something just has to give” or if you fear that separating or divorcing is the only way you can find some peace, give me a call and let’s see what I may be able to offer you.
Here are just some of the ways that I have helped couples in the past and how I might help you:
- Learning to communicate wants, desires, and wishes in ways that don’t trigger defensiveness or anger in the other
- Identifying and setting rational limits on what you will accept or not accept from the other
- Becoming clearer about what is expected from the other and how to deliver this in an inviting way
- Putting a stop to patterns of escalation and fighting that leave you exhausted and spent
- Recovering from the profound loss of loved ones
- Forming healthy boundaries around the relationship to protect it from negative influences from family, work or others
- Responding in a loving but self-preserving way to adult children who have made poor lifestyle choices
- Re-ignite interest in each other and sometimes even passion
- Recovery from infidelity whether it be emotional or sexual affairs (Yes, recovery is possible)
- Reintroducing fun back into the relationship and/or promoting each individual’s pursuit of enjoyment in life
- Creating “Marriage 2.0” by reconsidering and flexing what each partner’s expectations are of each other
- Deciding that separation or divorce is the best option and how to go about this with the least amount of suffering, given the circumstances
So, if you are ready to move from just surviving with one another, living parallel or separate lives, toward actually thriving in your relationship, give me a call now.
Suffering that is not transformed, will be transmitted. Richard Rohr